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Writer's pictureValerie Frazier

Realizing That You Are Meant to Be Here

Updated: Oct 7, 2024

If Life could have its way...it would be doing exactly what it's doing. Pushing back on it expresses resistance. Resistance...pushes back. That's why we give into what IS. Do what's required, yes, change the things that you can change without force. Then let go and let Life do what it does.


There will always be lots of moving pieces. Think of all the pieces that had to be moved around and then aligned just right so that you could be here. Let's just start with grandma and grandpa. They had all of their evolutionary situations. They had experiences of whatever was going on in the world, the country, their community, their family at the time. They experienced pain, suffering, wars, tragedies, deaths, friends, foes, love, loss, anxieties, uncertainties, depressions, tears, joy's, happiness, laughter and not so much. Long story short, bunches of years later they had your mom, and the other set of grandparents had your dad. Life still lifin (unfolding - doing what it does).


Your parents living their separate lives go through the same type of "human nature" stuff only it's a different time, different year. Still, they are in the experiences of whatever is going on in the world, the country, their community, their family. They experience pain, suffering, wars, tragedies, deaths, friends, foes, love, loss, anxieties, uncertainties, depressions, tears, joys, happiness and not so much.


Then just by chance (wink-wink) your mom and dad meet. Oh shit, it's on now! Your mom brings her life experiences, and your dad brings his. They bring their now collective life experiences, the good, the bad and the dirty (unresolved shit). They have friends, foes, dreams, challenges, desires, ideas, insecurities, and their family's life-imprints. Then one day, a day that began as any other day, they had sexual intercourse. Now this is where the real fun began. It's a certain day, a certain time of the day, life is moving in the background to make everything juuuuust right to bring your ass here.


Unbeknownst to them (wanting it to happen or not) mom is ovulating, and pops' little tadpoles are getting ready for the race. As life would have it, over 20 million of these microscopic tadpoles flow to the gate. then Boom! They're off!

They're pushing their way through mom's channel in a desperate race to live. They don't have eyes you know, nor a sense of smell. Imagine millions of these blind little fellas racing, in the dark, and upstream determined to live. What could they...how could they...be "thinking?" Damn it! I digress. Anyway, imagine millions of these fellas racing upstream. Many hundreds of thousands don't make it, they die outside within the hour, but the strong determined to live swimmers....baaaby they're stroking! Now all of this is happening unbeknownst to your parents...they're outside. They're up there doing what folks in the experience of life do while all of this is going on. Living life unexpectedly. Back to the race.


There you are in the meet. Stroking! You're pushing tadpoles out of the way, cursing them out, slapping them with your tail, propelling yourself faster. Millions swimming head-to-head. Wait! don't know how you're beathing...but okay, you're going faster than any other then...woosh! You made it! YOU won! You're the winner! Damn, what a journey! The door slams shut behind you. It's closed and locked. You turn back to look out the window. You watch all the envious losers fall back. You made it. And now you snuggle in and wait for your turn to enter the world.


And now...you're here. It's your turn to be in the experience of human existence, just like your parents, grandparents, and grandparents before them. You have the strength of them plus some. Now it's your turn to make sense of the world. And you begin to realize that life isn't delicate. Life is doing what it does. There will always be ups and downs, ins and outs, ebbing and flowing, challenges, struggles, good times, not so good times, people will come, they will go, you will laugh, cry, make choices...live in those choices. And now you realize, for sure, that a lot of pieces had to be moved around for you to be here. Your grandparents, their grandparents, all unknowingly perhaps, conspired to give you a turn at it. Which means that you are a gift to this world and through it all, it...is a gift to you.


Finally, Life has always and will always have its challenges, that's how we grow. There are relationships and struggles, failings and breakdowns. This is a normal part of living in the human experience. There will be times when you feel anxious, depress, sad, lonely, lost and confused. This too is a normal part of living. These are NOT psychological issues that need medical attention. This is everyday life. It was for our parents, our parents' parents and beyond. Overall, their lives were not easier than this one.


With that said, you've got to make the most of the life you've been given. No judgments that bind. No boxes without exists. No stories that can't be changed. When something that seems insurmountable troubles you, find a safe space to talk about it. Discover what life is trying to teach you because there is always a lesson to be learned. Change what you can, yes, then...let Life do the rest. You've got this.


Be kind. Be good to yourself. Be well.




DISCLAIMER

Coaching is not professional counseling, therapy nor a mental health service. I do not imply, infer, or attempt to fix, heal, or cure grief. Some conditions may require a consultation and referral from/to a licensed physician or mental health professional. If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please call 911 or 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Thank You.






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